Thursday, August 21, 2008

Heavy hearted ...

People would think thats life
handle it
But I dare say i have being really earnest and nice about it everytime i hv such nonsense simply by condoning it
which unseemly the more now they dont at all should deserve it longer

Why should I be working extra hard go the extra miles and making it as perfect as ever
when at the end result they got the same treatment or even got the bigger share of pie
im not competing im just asking what should be deserving and what should be rightful to what u hv done
Im not one that could just sit by and depend everything on luck
i only can achieve what i want thru hard work n more hard work

someone once told me before
choose between nice n bitchy..
i chose the first n he told me :
"girl, to survive in ur industry, u will be soo done-D if u go around being nice
its not wrong to be nice but in moderation n when u know its worth
or else you will never go far.. "
i always didnt tot much of it bcoz i always believe in treating ppl from the heart n when u give sincerity and trying hard to make them understand and reason out to them, in hope to making them understand why..
but everytime i was this disappointed..

Forge ignorance..
Pissed..
but all these while i condoned it
giving chance again n again
how many times can u talk urself into
or trying to find an excuse to tell urself, that person is doing someting
but the cruel fact is ur eyes told you that its not the case


No more of such from now on..
i DID NOT change
but im just doing what i think should
and rightfully should deserve..
to that particular.. im sorry
learn to feel with the heart first as to if u had put in the very effect
or u are just as always taking and accepting what people gave
and not at all even the very bit making it a point to start giving..

I asked for nothing when i did my best to help as much as i could
if theres anything i ever asked
it would only be when are given the task put in the very effect to get it done
n thats good enough for me
even if it meant me doing a fair bit more i really don mind but NOW its too late

u cover ur own back bcoz if u dont u will never truly grow up
and learn from it



you asked if i was fine.
i am
bcoz ive looked beyond it
i did within my means
and to help those i think deserved it
but all this time
my heart is crying
bcoz i don wana shed any tears
when i got the end result
i dont hope for something that i could hv prevented then..

to LB, ( if you are reading this)

I no longer have anymore to say even though there is
bcoz i don think u deserve me venting the unhappiness to
so i wont say anything anymore
bcoz many a times truth is told by eyes
..

I hope u wont take long to realise it
bcoz i don wan u to be like me
to convince urself again n again
n finally feel the impact of how the heart hurts..
bcoz i have told u how i felt so i don want u to go thru that
U dont need to give way like i say
bcoz we did no wrong
rememeber that!
and im always here to back u up
that i promise
if u cant be the bad face afterall
i will do it


Lullaby no more, for i chose the ugly truth

21.8.08